留学文书写作方法之如何表现出自信

在前几期文章里，我们谈到过写留学文书切忌高调（即自我表扬），不要把自己塑造成“高大上”的形象。要知道，这种自我表扬的做法既不可取又不高明，因为“阅人无数”的招生官一眼就能看出文书里哪些是“干货”，哪些是随意夸大的内容。在某种程度上，自我表扬其实是在贬低自己，可能会给人留下肤浅和浮夸的印象。不过，申请者也不能过于低调，没有必要连得了全国奥数竞赛第一名也归功于运气。那么，在写留学文书时，申请者到底要怎样做，才能做到既不张扬又不过于低调呢？答案是两个字：自信。这里所谓的自信，说得通俗一点，就是申请者在文书中要表现得不卑不亢，落落大方。但更精确地说，其实是“不卑但稍微有点亢”。

那么，要怎样做到“自信”呢？笔者建议申请者从两个角度入手：一是内容，二是表达。内容指申请者突出的成绩，与众不同的经历，对自己的家庭、学校、社区、种族、文化等持有的独特观点等。简而言之，申请者在学习、工作或生活中与众不同的经历等素材是值得大书特书的。那么，要怎么书呢？这就牵涉到第二个问题——表达。申请者在表达想要说的内容时，要掌握一个原则：对所叙述的事情进行独立、客观、正面的思考。有些申请者在文书中经常就中美在经济、文化、科研、教育、价值观等方面进行比较，得出的结论往往是“中国在这些方面还很落后，因此，我希望去美国学习先进的科学文化知识”。从某种角度看，这确实是事实。但是，申请者也没有必要一味地去揭自己的短处，要做到伸缩有度。

案例分析

下面我们通过两个真实案例来谈谈在文书写作中如何做到自信。

文书案例1

首先，我们来看一位多次借读、转学的申请者提供的文书原稿，大致内容如下：

从小到大，由于父亲工作的关系，我随他从温州到上海、北京，到杭州再回北京。期间，我借读、转学的学校超过十所。到北京我读的是私立学校，它一年的学费是公立学校的七倍，但是学校的设施齐全，校风开放。在这里，学校提供了200多种选修课程，从针织到表演无所不包，我选修了摄影和心理学。自由的学习氛围使我的兴趣变得广泛，同时也开阔了我的视野，但是我付出了代价：我虽然可以在北京参加中考，但因为是外地生，高中后依旧不能读北京公立学校。而如果我继续读私立高中，将不能在北京参加高考。于是我回到浙江，进入了公立学校。在这里，高考竞争激烈，成绩就是一切，我无法在这样的环境中脱颖而出。跟随父亲“四处漂泊”的生活让我与所到之处的发展和变化息息相关，但是这些地方容不了我。

中文原稿向我们描述了“我”从小跟随爸爸从一个城市迁移到另一个城市，后来因在北京无法参加高考回浙江读书，但回去后又无法适应当地学习氛围的尴尬境地。申请者在文书结尾也想要表达自己生活经历的好的一方面，但是却点不出来它好在哪里，全文弥漫着一股“悲壮”的情绪，更多的是“我”对自己辗转各地的无奈。殊不知，在西方国家，尤其是在美国这个“车轮上的国家”（the country on the wheels），搬迁（relocation）是一件司空见惯的事情。在美国文化里，relocation这个词毫无贬义色彩，人的流动性（mobility）是一个亮点。

因此，我们建议申请者在文书中加入以下内容：“我”没有因自己的经历而郁郁寡欢，在多次的搬迁中，“我”的阅历丰富了，适应能力变强了，思考问题的方式也变得成熟了。同时，搬迁又给“我”难得的机会去深入观察不同地区的人和事，从而让我对事物有了更深刻的思考，这又和“我”想申请学社会学专业有了联系。对“我”而言，除了在学校接受的传统教育，搬迁可以说是“我”在生活中接受的另一种教育，而且是非常有益和有趣的“教育”。全中国有难以计数的学校，但是几乎没有一所能够为在校学生提供如此宝贵的教育机会，而“我”却得到了。

如此一来，申请者的自信便在字里行间展露无遗，同时既没有自夸，也没有自卑，给读者留下的是自信的形象。请看以下参考范文：

Chinas Imperial examination system， called the keju， began in about 200 B.C. and lasted 2，000 plus years. It was an official method for recruiting bureaucrats. While the system was laudably intended to ensure that appointment as a government official was based on merit and not on favoritism or heredity， the topics candidates were tested on centered around poetry and Confucian classics and had nothing to do with leadership or problem-solving skills necessary to tackle the political， economic， legal， diplomatic and social issues of the time. They had nothing to do with science and technology， because science and technology as a concept or an academic discipline did not exist. The system itself was far removed from the realities of everyday life. The keju was abolished in 1905， but its influence was vast. Many other countries， such as Japan， Korea and Vietnam， followed Chinas example at one point or other.

Even to this day， a student in China， much like the candidates of the keju， is judged almost exclusively by grades and academic achievements. When I told my friends and teachers that I excelled in photography or that I took an elective class on psychology， their typical response was that those were not going to get me into college because they were not subject areas being tested. There is something that makes me stand out wherever I go： my fathers legal profession requires that he move frequently. As a result， I have moved from one city to another and have transferred from one school to another， no fewer than ten times. I have seen South China and North China and I have seen coastal cities on the east and landlocked cities on the west. Not only have I seen these places， I have lived in them for an extended period of time， long enough to observe the geographic， linguistic， ethnic and social diversity and to be able to compare and contrast levels of economic development and cost of living and to analyze and critique numerous social issues either limited to a location or commonly applied to all. I know my relocation experiences and my social observations and interpersonal skills and unique perspectives developed as a result of my migration do not seem to count for much in the Chinese educational environment. However， I do believe that this is a part of my education， and a very important and valuable part too.

I should consider myself fortunate because each time we move my father always wants to make sure that I go to the best school there and that my academics do not get disrupted. On my part， I succeeded in assuring him that I could handle frequent transitions well and that I could survive and thrive anywhere I go. As I contemplate on my biggest relocation ever—going overseas for my college education—I have to thank my father for having prepared me over and over again for the life of a sojourner.

评析：在参考范文中，申请者一改中文原稿中的悲观情绪，把叙述重点放在自己的经历所带来的好处上：独立的思考能力、强大的适应能力、丰富的人文地理知识。另外，申请者还提到中国从科举制到现在的高考向来只看重成绩，而他本人却深知自己的独特经历很有价值，对学习社会学也有帮助。我们相信，这样的申请者会受到美国招生官的青睐。

文书案例2

接下来，我们再看一位自认为各方面都不如人的申请者提供的文书原稿，大致内容如下：

“这孩子怎么这么笨！”小时候，我有时会听到家人这么评价我。我妈妈说我小时候学会走路和骑自行车都比同龄的孩子晚。小学时，班里的同学都会认钟表，而我学了好几个晚上才学会；学算术，我加减乘除混合算式总是搞不清。学小提琴，我考中央音乐学院六级，考了四次才通过。家人的评价让我很不舒服，但是也让我明白自己不是那种新东西一学就会的“聪明人”。我知道自己要笨鸟先飞，我相信勤能补拙。在学习方面，我会在下课后比别人多花时间去思考，多做一些题以巩固知识点。小提琴方面，我给自己规定每天比别人多练两个小时。就这样，我各方面都发生了好的转变。学习成绩大有进步，小提琴方面开始获得一些奖项。家人对我的评价一直刺激着我，使我在人生任何一段旅程上都会确定一个目标，并去长期努力。一路前行。

美国学校希望学生对自我有正面的认识，不要因为在某方面不如人而自卑，要看到自己身上的闪光点：也许你没有数学天分，但小提琴拉得好，有音乐天赋；也许你不善言谈，但是有体育方面的特长；也许你学习不好，但是人缘好，有领导才能，等等。对于孩子的成果，美国的父母总是会对孩子说：“Excellent.”而中国的孩子没这么幸运，他们往往是在批评声中长大的，就像本文中的“我”。

所以，我们建议申请者换个角度写。我们让他不要采用妄自菲薄的方式讲述自己笨鸟先飞的成长经历，而是表明自己很欣赏美国以激励为主的教育方式，同时对中国以批评为主的教育方式也不持否定态度——申请者比较真实地说出了自己以后很有可能在两种文化中吸取养分，会选择比较折中的方式方法。请看以下参考范文：

Unlike the United States where “wonderful，” “fantastic，” “good job” and “wow” are frequently and generously used as a means to encourage and motivate kids， China does not seem to believe in the value of positive feedback； not to the degree found among Americans anyway. The Chinese culture prefers criticism to praising， especially in parent-child relationships and， to a large extent， in teacher-student relationships as well. I am what Americans would call a late bloomer. According to my mother， I was at least half a year behind other kids my age in learning to walk and several years behind in bicycling. Academically， I was not initially advanced； not at all. I remember other kids in class were able to read clocks， and I could not； they could do mental calculations， and I had to resort to paper and pens. Even in violin， an instrument that I started playing early， I had to repeat the same exam for level 6 four times before I was promoted. I have heard my family members， including my parents， say “Why are you so dumb？！”

This is the type of environment I grew up in. I took it for granted. I never knew there were other ways to prod a child into action， nor did I expect my family or any adults who cared about me to do any differently. I did not like those negative comments， but I managed to cope. While I accepted that I could be slow to start with， I never accepted that I should remain a laggard （落后者）. That was not where I wanted to be. I realized if I put in a little more extra effort and invested a little bit more time， I could catch up， and I did. Not only did I catch up， I became more advanced academically and musically than most of my peers.

In hindsight， negative feedback from my family， my teachers and my friends were not damaging or counterproductive， as some psychologists would say. It could be motivating， in my opinion. I doubt I will use the negative approach myself to my own children or any other kids in the future： not much anyway. But on the other hand， it would be hard for me to give credit when I see no credit is warranted. Id apply compliments sparingly， not lavishly. I am， after all， a product of the culture to which I belong. I can challenge it， I can even deviate （脱离） from it， but I cannot deny its indelible influence on me.

评析：在参考范文中，申请者能坦然面对自身笨拙的一面，而且对成长环境进行客观分析，有独立的思考，并得出自己的结论，这就是自信的表现。