试探中译英中英语惯用法错误

2015-07-16 08:05顾祖良
湖北函授大学学报 2015年3期
关键词:纠正翻译错误

顾祖良

[摘要]在中译英中,有时会出现各种各样的错误,有词汇和语法方面的错误。但相比而言,词语惯用法方面的错误,一不留神就会出现在相关的译文中。指出译文中的词语惯用法错误,通过大量实例分析错误的原因,纠正错误,给出地道的英语译文。

[关键词]英语;翻译;惯用法;错误;纠正

[中图分类号]G642

[文献标识码]A

[文章编号]1671-5918(2015)03-0136-03

doi:10.3969/j.issn.1671-5918.2015.03-067

[本刊网址]http://www.hbxb.net

在谈到英语惯用法的重要性时,我国英语界泰斗、英语惯用法权威葛传槼先生在其《英语惯用法词典》(新修订本)前言中明确指出:要学好英语,必须掌握英语惯用法。无论听、说、读、写、译和应付“托福”、GRE、GMAT、“雅思”等各种英语考试,都要熟练地掌握英语贵用法。然而,笔者在最近的阅读中,发现在《英语专业八级考试翻译指南》(下文简称《英语专业》)、《散文佳作108篇;汉、英对照》(下文简称《散文佳作》以及《中国文化汉英读本汉英对照》(下文简称《中国文化》)的中译英中,存在着不少错误,尤其是英语惯用法方面的错误。本文举出一些实例,分析造成错误的原因,给出符合英语表达习惯的地道的英语译文。

一、leave sb. an impression的错误用法

开始吃头盘或冷碟的时候,印象很好。(2004年真题)

在《英语专业》p.35上,所给的译文如下:

The starter or cold dish will leave you a good impression.

原译文有误。“给某人留下印象”,根据英语的表达习惯,不可说leave sb.an impression,而常用make或leave an impres-sion on sb.。例如:

1. The football players were trying to make an impression onthe national coach.足球队员竭力想给国家队教练留下印象。

2. Her speech made a quite impression on the audience.她的演说给听众留下相当好的印象。

3. It leaves an impression on the visitor not easily forgotten.它给参观者留下了难忘的印象。

4.The expe-ience left a lasting impression on me.这段经历给我留下了不可磨灭的印象。

从上述实例中,我们可以看出,leave sb.an impression不符合英语的表达习惯。不过,leave sb.with an impression倒是地道的英语表达形式,但不常见。如:The book leaves you with a dis-torted impression of politics.该书会给你对政治留下扭曲的印象。

因此,原译文宜改为:The starter or cold dish will leave/makea good impression on you.

二、inform sb.sth.的错误用法

应该尽最大努力告诫年轻人吸烟的危害,特别是染上烟瘾后的可怕后果。

《英语专业》p.59上,所给的译文如下:

Great efforts should be made to inform young people especiallythe dreadful consequences of taking up the habit.

原译文有误。根据英语的表达习惯,inform sb.后要跟介词of或about再接sth.例如:

1. You should inform your bank of any change of address。地址若有变更,你应该通知银行。

2. Has she been informed of her mother's death yet?有人把她母亲去世的消息告诉她了吗?

3. The clinic is requested to inform the patient about alterna-tive treatments.要求诊所通知病人有可能改变治疗方法。

不过,inform sb.后若同how等疑问词连接时,在句中是直接宾语,其前的介词可以省略。例如:

1. Could you please inform me how to go about contacting aIawyer?请您告诉我怎样去联络律师?

2.I informed him(about) where to go.我告诉他我去什么地方。

不过,笔者认为,在上述译文中,即使把mform后的介词of或about补上,译文还是有问题。动词lnform常作“通知,告知”解,无“告诫”含义。可改用warn或admonish,译文还有其他漏译。因此,原译文宜改译为:

Great efforts should be made to warn(或admonish) youngpeople of the harm of smoking, especially the dreadful conse-quences of getting addicted to it.endprint

三、on the way of doing sth.的错误用法

我们或许还可以争辩说,中国人还生活在争取富足的道路上,不必杞人忧天。

《英语专业八》p.135上,所给的译文如下:

Some may argue that we Chinese are still on the way of strivingfor the abundant life and thus have no need meeting troubles half-way.

原译文有误。根据英语的表达习惯,on the/one's way 后不跟of doing sth.,要跟to doing sth.,有时也可跟to do sth.,但不常见。例如:

1.She is well on the way to mastering English.她即将掌握英语。

2.He is on his way to becoming a journalist.他快成为一名记者。

3. He is well on the way to becoming a fine mechanic.他即将成为一名优秀的技工。

4.He is already well advanced on the way to cure. 他的病已经好多了。

此外,原译文中,还有一个错误。根据英语的表达习惯,have no need后不可跟doing sth,要跟to do sth.例如:

1. I had no need to open the letteI--l knew what it wouldday.我没有必要拆开那封信--我知道里面会说什么。

2.We have no need to be afraid of them.我们不必怕他们。

3.You have no need to be ashamed.你不必感到惭愧。

因此,原译文宜改为:Some may argue that we Chinese arestill on the way to striving for the abundant life and thus have noneed to meet troubles half-Way.

四、as"',but的错误用法

“长大”是“长大”了,而没有“好”。

在《散文佳作》p.201上,所给的译文如下:

“Grown”as I am, but things are not any“better”.(刘士聪译)

原译文有误。根据英语的表达习惯,在由as或though引导的倒装式让步状语从句中,其主句前不能再加连词but。例如:

1.Improbable as it seems, it's true.虽然看起来视乎不可能,却是真的。

2. Happy as they were, there was something missing.尽管他们很快乐,但总缺少点仕么。

3. Try as he might(=however hard he tried), he couldn'topen the door.他想尽了办法也不能打开门。

4. Hardworking though he was, there was never enough mon-ey to pay the bills.他虽然工作得挺辛苦,但却一直是人不敷出。

因此,原译文宜改为:“Grown”as I am,things are not any“better”.也可改为:I am“grown”,but things are not any“bet-ter”.

五、couldn't help but did sth.的错误用法

医生忍不住反驳说:“我们这里平不是北极嘛。”

在《散文佳作》p.75上,所给的译文如下:

The doctor couldn't help but retorted,“This is not the NorthPole.”(琥珀译)

原译文有误。根据英语的表达习惯,can't help but do是固定搭配,常用于美式英语中。不管前面用can't,还是couldn't,but后要跟动词原形。例如:

1. You talk to the guy for five minutes and you can't help butlike him.要是你和那人交谈五分钟,你会情不自禁地喜欢上他。

2. I couldn't help but notice the bruise she had under hereye.我不禁注意到她眼睛下有伤痕。

3. She couldn't help but wonder what he was thinking.她不禁琢磨他在想什么。

因此,原译文宜改为:The doctor couldn't help but retort,“This is not the North Pole.”或也可改为:The doctor couldn'thelp retorting,“This is not the North Pole.”

六、look blank at sth.的错误用法

它随着击碰倾侧,头不动,眼不动,还呆呆地注视着地上。

在《散文佳作》p.73上,所给的译文如下:

As the kitten touched it.it tilted from side to side, its headundisturbed and its eyes looking blank at the floor。(刘士聪译)endprint

原译文有误。动词look既是系动词,又可作行为动词用。在look at sb./sth.中,Iook不是系动词,而是行为动词,要用副词来修饰动词。例如:

1.The child looked curiously at us.这孩子好奇地看着我们。

2.He looked carefully at the figures.他仔细检查这些数字。

3. We need to look very carefully at ways of improving our ef-ficiency.我们需要仔细研究提高效率的各种办法。

因此,原译文宜改为:As the kitten touched it,it tilted fromside to side, its head undisturbed and its eyes looking blankly atthe floor.

七、ensure sb. to do sth.的错误用法

按照“国家经济和社会发展的第十二个五年计划( 2011 -2015年)纲要,中国的人口年度增长率应保持在7.2‰以内,以确保到2015年中国人口不超过13亿9000万:

在《中国文化》p.29上,所给的译文为:

In accordance with the“Outline of the Twelfth Five-YearPlan (2011-2015) for National Economic and Social Develop-ment," the annual natural increase of China's population shouldbe kept under 7.2 per l.000, so as to ensure the population not toexceed l.39 billion by 2015.

译文中的动词ensure的用法不符合英语的表达习惯。动词ensure作“确保;保证”解,不用于ensure sb. to do sth.的句型。ensure常见于ensure sth.,ensure doing sth.,ensure sb.sth.,ensure sb. against/from sth.,ensure that等句型。例如:

1. The airline is taking steps to ensure safety on its aircraft.航空公司正在采取措施以确保其航班的飞行安全。

2. They took steps to ensure the safety of the passengers.他们采取措施确保乘客的安全。

3.Come early to ensure getting a good seat.早点来确保有个好座位。

4.I cannot ensure his being on time.我不能保证他能按时。

5. The medicine will ensure you a good night's sleep.这药保证让能让你睡一夜好觉。

6. Their 2-0 victory today has ensured the Italian team aplace in the Cup Final/ensured a place in the Cup Final for the I—talian team.今天意大利队2比O获胜,这确保了它稳操胜券进入世界杯的决赛。

7.We should ensure workers against accidents.我们应保护工人不出事故。

8. The arrangements will ensure each side from attack by theother.这些安排将使各方免遭对方的袭击。

9. The role of the police is to ensure(that) the law is o-beyed.警察的职责就是确保人们遵守法律。

10. His help ensured our success/ensured that we were suc-cessful.他的帮助保证了我们的成功。

从上述实例中,我们可以看出,动词ensure的各种搭配用法。在英语中,无ensure sb, to do sth.这一说法。因此,原译文宜改为:In accordance with the“Outline of the Twelfth Five-YearPlan(2011-2015)for National Economic and Social Develop-ment," the annual natural increase of China's population shouldbe kept under 7.2 per l.000, so as to ensure that the populationdoes not exceed l.39 billion by 2015(或…so as to ensure thepopulation's not exceeding l.39 billion by 2015).

八、have no alternative but do sth.的错误用法

她别无选择,只能将恶魔的脑袋抱在怀里以避免大灾难出现。

在《中国文化》p.70上,所给的译文为:

She had no alternative but keep the head in her arms in orderthat it might not cause such havoc.endprint

译文中的had no alternative but keep用得欠妥。根据英语的表达习惯,have no alternative/choice/option but后要跟to dosth.,不可跟do sth.,作“不得不”解。例如:

1. Im afraid I have no altemative but to ask you to leave(=that is what I have to do).恐怕我别无选择,只有让你离开。

2.We had no alternative hut to fire Gibson.我们只好解雇吉普森。

3.I had no choice but to cancel my holiday.我不得不取消假期。

4. We had no choice but to accept the majority decision. 除了接受大多数人的决定外,我们别无选择。

5. I had no option but to turn the documents over to the po-lice.我只得把这些文件交给警察。

6.I had no option hut to(=I had to) ask him to Ieave.我别无选择,只有请他离开。

不过,在do nothing but,cannot but, cannot choose but,和cannot help but等结构中,but后要跟do sth.,不跟to do sth.。例如:

1.He did nothing but grumble.他只会发牢骚。

2.I could not but bring the matter to their notice.我不能不把这个问题提请他们注意。

3.I cannot choose but attend the party.我只好去参加这次晚会。

4.I couldn't help but notice the bruise she had under hereye.我不禁注意到她眼睛下面的伤痕。

从上述实例中,我们可以看出,but在不同的搭配中,其后所跟的动词形式也不同,不宜混用。因此,原译文宜改为:Shehad no altemative but to keep the head in her arms in order that itmight not cause such havoc.

综上所述,我们不难看出,在相关的中译英译文中,确实存在着一些英语惯用法方面的错误,使得译文不符合英语的表达习惯。要避免惯用法方面的错误,笔者建议要多查阅英语工具书,尤其是英语惯用法方面的辞书。只有这样,汉译英时,译文才能变得更地道。笔者提出上述问题,意在同原译者进行讨论商榷,也供读者参考。

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