Forgiveness 宽恕

湖北武汉 景一 选译



Forgiveness 宽恕

湖北武汉 景一 选译

anyone else.

The practice of forgiveness has been shown to reduce anger，depression and stress and leads to greater feelings of hope，peace and self confidence.Forgiveness is very important because when we carry around resentment and anger，guilt and shame，it hurts our health，happiness and our relationships. By releasing all of that，you can repair relationships with yourself and everyone in your life leads to physical health.

Forgiveness is not for the other person.It is a gift for yourself.People who are angry are more likely to get ill or die early.So this is something you’re doing for yourself.Make a promise to yourself to do what you have to do to feel better.When you’re in a state of resentment and anger，you can’t be a great partner or a successful person.

★宽恕是为了你自己而不是为了其他任何人。

实践已证明，宽恕能减少愤怒、抑郁和压力，并带来希望、平静和自信的更佳感觉。宽恕很重要，因为怨恨、愤怒、内疚和羞愧的情绪会损害我们的健康、幸福以及与他人的关系。释放这些情绪可以让你修复与自己以及每一个出现在你生活里的人的关系并让你身体健康。

宽恕并非为了他人，而是你送给自己的礼物。长期处于愤怒状态下的人更容易不舒服，甚至是早逝。因此，这么做是为了你自己。给自己一个的承诺，去做那些让你保持身心舒畅而必须做的事吧。如果你心怀怨尤和愤怒，是不可能成为一个好搭档或者成功人士的。

★Forgiveness is neither forgetting nor condoning.

Forgiveness is not forgetting.You’re not going to forget—It happened.Forgiveness is not condoning what happened neither.Forgiveness is not letting it happen again.You should get the right perspective on what is happening.

Forgiveness does not require anyone else.A lot of times people think，“I’ll only forgive if they apologize.”Forgiveness is an internal event where you give up the wish that something had not happened.You’ve been saying，“If only that hadn’t happened，then I would be happy.”But you can’t go back in time.Recognize that your pain is coming from the hurt feelings，thoughts and physical upset you are suffering now，not what offended you or hurt you two minutes or ten years ago.

Forgiveness does not necessarily mean forgetting the person that hurt you，or condoning of their action.What you are after is to find peace.Many people say they can’t forgive because what happened was too big of an event.But you can’t forgive something that was a good thing.Of course it was something bad that happened.But you can say，“I’m going to let that be in the past.”Or，say“I can’t change what happened.I can’t change the past.I can change the present and the future，and I choose to do that.”

What forgiveness really is:Accept that it happened and asking yourself，“What can I do now？”

★宽恕既不是遗忘也不是纵容。

宽恕不等于遗忘。你不会忘记那些事——因为它们的确发生过。宽恕也不等于纵容已经发生的事情。宽恕是不让它再次发生。你应该从正确的角度去看待发生的事情。

宽恕不是要求别人做什么。在很多时候，人们会想，“要是他们来道歉，我就原谅他们。”宽恕应是你发自内心地放弃了对过去没有发生事情的期望。你会说，“要是那件事没有发生，我本来会很快乐。”但你无法回到过去。你应该认识到你的痛苦来自于你现在正在遭受的情感，思想的伤害和身体上的不适，而不是两分钟前或十年前对你的冒犯或伤害。

宽恕并不意味着忘记伤害你的人，或是纵容他们的行为。你寻求的是内心深处的平静。很多人说，他们无法宽恕是因为所发生事件影响太大。但你无法宽恕某些事情也并非坏事。的确那发生的并不是什么好事。不过，你可以说，“我就让它留在过去吧。”或者说，“我无法改变发生的事情，无法改变过去。但我可以改变现在和未来，而这也是我的选择。”

真正的宽恕是：接受已发生的事情，并问问自己，“我现在可以做什么？”

★Don’t wait to say I’m sorry.

A lot of times，people say，“I’ll wait for them to call me.”Don’t—they’re saying the same thing.Be the leader in this situation.

Even if you were not the person who did the wrongdoing，you probably had some role in this.Apologize sincerely，without the word“but”.So“I’m sorry I yelled at you，but you yelled at me first”doesn’t count.Rather say，“I’m sorry that I yelled at you.I care about you and I want us to move past this.”

★别等他人说抱歉。

很多时候，人们都说，“我等他们给我打电话。”千万别！——因为他们一直说着同样的事。在这种情况里争取主导地位。

即便主要过错不在你，但你也不是完全没有责任。真诚地道歉，不要说“但是”。所以，“抱歉刚刚对你这么大声说话，但是你先朝我嚷嚷的”，这么说可没用。你还不如说，“抱歉，刚才这么嚷嚷，我也是在乎你，我想我们就让这件事情过去吧。”

★You can hope for health，love，peace and success and work hard to get them.

Remember that a life well lived is your best revenge.Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings，and thereby giving the person who caused you pain power over you. Learn to look for the love，beauty and kindness around you.Ask yourself:How can I be different？How can I prevent this from happening in the future？

Give up expecting things from other people，or your life，that they do not choose to give you.Recognize the“imperfections”you have for your health or how you or other people must behave.Put your energy into looking for another way to get your positive goals met than through the experience that has hurt you.Remind yourself that you can hope for health，love，peace and success and work hard to get them.

★你可以向往健康、爱、平和及成功，并努力去得到这些。

请记住，好好地生活是你最好的报复。不要专注于让你受伤的感受，而让那些造成你痛苦的人超过你。学会寻找你周围的爱、美和善良。问问你自己：怎么做才能有所不同？怎么做才能避免未来再发生这样的事情？

放弃期待那些其他人或你的生活不会选择给你的东西吧。你必须承认你的健康中的或是你或其他人行为中的“不完美”。把你的精力投入到寻找另一种方式来达成你的积极目标之中去吧，而不是通过那些伤害你的经验来达成。提醒自己，你可以向往健康、爱、平和及成功，并努力去得到这些。

★Forgiveness is for you and not for