说“不”的巨大力量

Kristen Fisher 笪景行

The power of saying no can be simply life-changing. Whether you are a believer in this concept or not， it depends on the situations youve been involved in. For instance， some people who have been subjected to situations where they feel uncomfortable may have felt pressured to say “yes” in the first place. Sadly， this is become more common， although， more light is being shed on the “if I feel like staying home， then I will” with the Millennial2 generation.

说“不”的力量完全可以改变生活。你是否相信这个说法取决于你所处的环境。例如，有些经历过让自己感到不舒服的情况的人，可能会对首先说“好的”感到有压力。可惜，这种情况变得越来越普遍了，不过，千禧世代的“如果我想呆在家里，那么我会的”的看法也越来越明朗。

If you were to type into your search engine “saying no”， youll uncover around 5，360，000，000 results. Nearly all revolve around “gently saying no”. Its not that the human species doesnt want to interact （it may feel like that at times） but it comes down to “wanting to impress and pressure”. This happens in forms of peer pressure， family pressure， friends， etc. Eventually， the majority of us fit into the “people pleaser” category， we hate letting anyone down and intend on being the one friend/family/work member who is reliable enough to cover any function or need.

如果你在搜索引擎中搜索“说‘不”，会发现大约有5，360，000，000个结果。几乎所有的结果都围绕着“温柔地说‘不”。这并不是说人类不想相互交往（有时会有这种感觉），而是归结为“想给人留下深刻印象并向人施压”。这是以同龄人的压力、家庭压力、朋友等形式而发生的。最终，我们大多数人都属于“讨好者”，我们不喜欢让任何人失望，并打算成为一个万能且可以满足各种需要的、值得信赖的朋友/家人/工作伙伴。

Why do we feel the need to be a “people pleaser”

The psychology from being a “people pleaser” can stem from childhood or recent developments in your life. Lets take a look at the most possible attributes3：

·Noticing a friend who ends up receiving more recognition for being “overly reliable”.

·Suddenly having the feeling that if you dont say “yes” to something you may miss the opportunity.

…

为什么我们觉得有必要成为一个“讨好者”

产生成为一个“讨好者”的心理可能源于你的童年或最近的生活发展。让我们看看最可能的原因：

·注意到一个朋友因为“过于可靠”而得到更多的认可。

·突然有一种感觉，如果你对某件事不说“好的”，你可能会错过这个机会。

......

How to say no

Essentially by applying “no” to certain areas of your life create healthy boundaries. Setting the right boundaries in your relationships can lead to a healthier life and even lifestyle.

Some may be joking around when they say “Oh， you are just being a buzz kill” or “stop being a Debbie Downer”. This can ultimately paint a depressive portrait4 in our own minds. Do not feel bad for saying no. Whether you have prior commitments， do not allow another to force you towards a negative self-image.

Once you understand the power of saying no， building healthy boundaries， and understanding when to say yes...there will be fewer limitations.

Stand up for yourself and embrace how “no” can change your life for the better.

怎么說“不”

从本质上说，在生活的某些领域说“不”会创造健康的界限。而在人际关系中设定合适的界限，可以带来更健康的生活，甚至生活方式。

有些人可能会开玩笑说：“哦，你真是个扫兴的人。”或“别再当个扫兴的人了。”这最终会在我们的脑海中描绘出一幅压抑的画面。不要因为说“不”而感到难受。无论你之前是否有承诺，都不要让别人强迫你形成消极的自我感觉。

一旦你理解了说“不”的力量，建立了健康的界限，并且理解了什么时候说“好的”……你的限制就会减少。

要坚持自我并信奉说“不”能让你的生活变得更好。