YOU’VE GOT QUESTIONS?SHE’S GOT ANSWERS

2020-04-29 09:53BUTYOUPROBABLYWONLIKETHEM
汉语世界 2020年2期
关键词:白痴吸血鬼借口

(BUT YOU PROBABLY WON’T LIKE THEM)

I love my kid, but being stuck with him 24/7 during the coronavirus quarantine has been a nightmare. Besides praying for school start soon, how should I cope?experience, your kid will find you 讨厌 (tǎoyàn, annoying) in a few short years. They won’t want to spend a second with you even if you want them to. Then, you can happily enjoy your 宁静 (níngjìng, peace). So hang in there; 光明就在眼前!(Guāngmíng jiù zài yǎnqián! There’s light at the end of the tunnel!)

Ren Fan

Boo-hoo. You chose to have him, so now you get to deal with him. I didn’t have any choice to have my kids, and look what I ended up with: a pair of 吸血鬼 (xīxuèguǐ,bloodsuckers), along with their spouses, and kids 活蹦乱跳 (huóbèng-luàntiào, jumping and kicking) under my roof since Chinese New Year! Damn the 病毒 (bìngdú,virus) for providing them the 借口 (jièkǒu, excuse) to 白吃白喝 (báichī-báihē, freeload). But let me tell you from

The media recommends alcohol for disinfection. Does that mean drinking can cure Covid-19? What type of Chinese liquor do you recommend?

Brilliant Bryan

You complete 白痴 (bāichī, moron)! Your intelligence is as 稀薄 (xībó, scarce) as 氧气 (yǎngqì, oxygen) on the Himalayas. I bet it’s the alcohol causing 永久损伤 (yǒngjiǔ sǔnshāng, permanent damage) to your brain! I’m no doctor,but even I know alcohol never 治疗 (zhìliáo, cures) anything,any more than drinking Corona beer will get you infected.Good Jade Emperor! I’m so sick of all these rumors clogging up my inbox. I don’t care if you drink yourself senseless, just stay away from crowded places so other people don’t contract your 愚蠢 (yúchǔn, stupidity).

Got questions for our Agony Ayi? Send them to agonyayi@theworldofchinese.com

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