小幽默

杨扬

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A motorist got caught in one of those new radar traps. He had been driving home one night when the automatic camera identified his car as exceeding the speed limit. Soon after, he received a ticket in the mail, plus a picture of this vehicle with the date and speed recorded on it.

Duly impressed, he sent back the ticket, along with a photo of a $100 bill to pay the fine.

反应

一个飞車手被新的雷达测速仪捕获。那是他在一天晚上超速驾车回家时，被自动照像机摄下了他的汽车。不久，他便收到了一个装有罚款单的信封，里面装有他汽车的照片、超速的日期和速度。

他对这种方式的印象极为深刻，于是寄回了那张罚款单，并附上了一张一百元美金的照片作为罚金。

Home Alone

My wife will go to any extreme to keep people from knowing she is home alone. One evening when I was working late, my wife heard a knock on the door. She ignored it, but the knocking continued. Frantic, she began to bark, softly at first, then louder and louder. Much to her relief, the knocking soon stopped.

The next day the paper boy came to the door to collect. “I came by last night,” he told me, “but I left when your wife barked at me!”

独自在家

我妻子独自在家时，总是不想让别人知道家里没有其他的人。一天晚上，我工作到很晚。我妻子听到有人敲门，她就没理，但敲门的声音总是不停，慌乱之中，她开始学狗叫。一开始她低声地叫，随后她的叫声越来越大。敲门声很快地停了，她这才松了口气。

第二天，送报的小孩来我家收钱，那小孩告诉我：“我昨晚上就来了，你老婆老冲我学狗叫，我就走了。”

Peter Decides the Grade

One semester when my brother, Peter, attended the University of Minnesota in Minneapolis, an art-student friend of his asked if he could paint Peter??s portrait for a class assignment. Peter agreed, and the art student painted and submitted the portrait, only to receive a C minus.

The art student approached the professor to ask why the grade was so poor. The teacher told him that the proportions in the painting were incorrect. “The head is too big,” the professor explained. “The shoulders are too wide, and the feet are enormous.”

The next day, the art student brought Peter to see the professor. He took one look at my brother. “Okay, A minus.” he said.

彼得的长相决定了分数

我兄弟彼得在明尼阿波利斯的明尼索达大学上学时，有一个学期，他的一位学艺术的朋友问他是否可以用他做素描的模特作为课堂作业。彼得同意了。那位艺术生画完了，就把肖像交给了老师。他只得了一个C-。

那位艺术生找到教授问为什么他的分数这么低。教授告诉他肖像中的比例失调，教授说：“脑袋太大，肩太宽，脚也过于大了。”

第二天，那位艺术生带彼得见教授，教授看了我兄弟一眼，并说：“好，可以得A-。”