You’ve got questions? she’s got answers

What do you think about the US elections？ Its all people talk about these days.

Political Pete

Youve come to the right person： No one knows more about US politics than me. Just like the current US president， who is nicknamed 懂王 （d6ngw1ng， “king of knowledge”） in China， I am the 懂后 （d6ngh7u， “queen of knowledge”）. Some people would say Im very， very 聰明 （c4ngm！ng， intelligent）. Otherwise， why do you 无聊人士 （w%li1o r9nsh#， bored people） keep asking me all these 烂问题 （l3nw-nt！， stupid questions）？ I have a better idea： Why dont they just find a good 总统 （z6ngt6ng， president） and hang on to him to save all that trouble？ Forget about the Constitution; people have to learn to 与时俱进 （y^sh！-j&j#n， advance with the times）， and dare to make change， right？ Yes you can！

Did you get anything from this years “Double 11” online shopping festival？ I have so many packages coming！

Shopaholic Susie

As a 传统的 （chu1nt6ng de， traditional） person， I absolutely 讨厌 （t2oy3n， hate） it！ Another perfectly good holiday ruined by 消费主义 （xi`of-izh^y#， consumerism）！ Double 11 should be a 单纯的 （d`nch%n de， innocent） made-up festival for single people to reflect on their 失败 （sh～b3i， failure） in finding a partner and drown themselves in 自怜 （z#li1n， self-pity）. They should stay up late because they cant stop 哭泣 （k$q#， crying）， not because they want to snatch the best deals at midnight. Plus， so many of those sales are just 糊弄人 （h&nong r9n， screwing people around）. How am I supposed to know the difference between 定金 （d#ngj～n， down payment） and 订金 （d#ngj～n， deposit）？ All those discounts are more complicated than rocket science！ For every 尾款人 （w0iku2nr9n， people who have balance due） who is fooled by these shenanigans， I say 自求多福 （z#qi% du4f%， youre on your own）！

Got questions for our Agony Ayi？ Send them to agonyayi@theworldofchinese.com