突破写作瓶颈，续写精彩结尾

广东 王 思

【问题导读】

文章的开头是阅卷老师最先入目的部分，然而，文章的结尾是给阅卷老师留下最深印象的部分，也是阅卷老师的打分点。精彩的结尾如同“画龙点睛”，能够呼应前文，升华主题，引发思考，让人意犹未尽，同时还能给文章带来高分。那么，在实际写作中，我们该如何根据故事情节的发展，写出合理又精彩的结尾呢？

【名师导学】

高考读后续写要求充满正能量，倡导至真至善至美的价值观。因此，故事的结局应该都是问题得到圆满解决。当然，精彩的读后续写的结尾除了能揭示故事的结局外，还应该做到以下几点：

1.在表现手法上，结尾应与前文的伏笔照应，使人觉得在情理之中；与前文形成对比，点明主旨，深化主题。如首尾呼应式结尾、反思式结尾等。

2.在塑造人物形象上，结尾应表现人的心理、性格、品质、经历、命运、能力等。如对话式结尾、反思式结尾等。

3.在故事情节上，结尾可以照应标题和开头，使故事完整。如点题式结尾、首尾呼应式结尾等。

4.除此之外，好的故事结尾还可以合情合理、出人意料（自然式结尾）；设置悬念，留想象空间（留白式结尾）；寓情于景，情景交融（景物描写式结尾）；合理推断，拔高立意（哲理式结尾）。

【案例导引】

阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。

Bird song

“Let it go!”Caroline yelled.Two boys were bending over a hurt bird, as a third one held the poor creature by its wings.“You'll hurt it,”Caroline looked fearful for the bird.

The tallest stood up and glared at Caroline.“Here, catch this!”he said as he sailed the broken-winged bird at Caroline.The poor creature cried in pain, as its wings had been badly damaged.The boys ran off.

Caroline bent down to carefully pick up the bird.The poor feathered soul was wriggling（扭动）about,with a fearful look in its eyes.“Don't worry,”Caroline whispered softly.She took a handkerchief from her pocket and gently placed the bird on it.

Caroline walked back to her house as quickly as she could, careful not to shake the bird around too much.She found a shoe box,filled it with soft cotton balls and then laid the bird down in its new resting place.

“Let me get you some water and food.That's the least I can do.”She took a tiny saucer from the kitchen, filled it with water, and placed it in a corner of the box.She managed to find some sunflower seeds, as that was the only bird-friendly food she could think of.Caroline was worried.She didn't want the bird to die.The poor bird was now fast asleep,no doubt tired out from its earlier suffering.“Please don't die,”Caroline whispered tearfully.

If there was anyone whom she could turn to, it would be Mr Roberts.Mr Roberts was working at the nature museum.He had bird feeders throughout his yard, and sometimes would drop in her science class at school.Caroline never knew there was so much information about birds,until hearing him speak.She figured he would know what to do.

注意：续写词数应为150左右。

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Caroline called Mr Roberts and hurriedly told him her tale.______________________

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In the morning, the Blackwell Bird Rescue Society called, informing a car would come to pick up the bird at10am.___________________________________________________

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文本解读

一、原文的语篇要素

Who When Where What Why How Caroline,three boys and Mr Roberts not mentioned in the open air;in Caroline's house Caroline made efforts to save a bird.Its wings had been badly damaged.Caroline brought it home,took care of it and turned to Mr Roberts for help.

二、原文的情节脉络

三、续写精彩结尾

本文的主题语境是人与自然，讲述的是卡罗琳寻求帮助、救治受伤的小鸟的故事。按照情节的发展趋势和续写两段的段首句提示，接下来应该是卡罗琳打电话向罗伯茨求助，他帮卡罗琳联系了当地的鸟类救助协会（Blackwell Bird Rescue Society）。经过鸟类救助协会的专业救治，小鸟最终康复。那么在续写时，我们应该如何突破写作瓶颈，写出精彩的结尾呢？

（一）自然式结尾

自然式结尾是指顺着文章情节的自然发展趋势结束全文，使文章结构完整，故事情节完整。这样的结尾没有套话，没有空话，给人自然、明快的感觉。

按照情节的发展走向，故事的结局应该是：鸟类救助协会的人驱车前来把小鸟接去救治，最终小鸟得以康复。那么，我们可以这样结束故事：“Two weeks later, news came that the bird had completely recovered, which made Caroline smile with relief.”。一句话交代了小鸟的结局，自然、清楚、不含糊。

（二）留白式结尾

留白式结尾是指不用逻辑思维的方式直截了当地表述，而是描写一个动作、一个变化，后面部分留白，给读者留下一个画面、一个想象的余地。

续写第二段的开头，鸟类救助协会派人过来接小鸟，那小鸟最终有没有康复呢？“Standing at the door,Caroline watched the driver get back into the car,which slowly drove away and disappeared from sight.”这个结尾描述了一个“车子带着小鸟缓缓消失”的画面，至于小鸟的结局如何，结尾给读者留下了一个想象的空间。

（三）首尾呼应式结尾

首尾呼应式结尾是指续写的文章结尾与原文开头遥相呼应。前有伏笔，后有照应，这种结尾方式能使文章的结构更加紧密、严谨，内容更加深刻、完整，更能使读者产生共鸣。

根据原文第二段的“The poor creature cried in pain, as its wings had been badly damaged.”可知，这只小鸟的翅膀受了重伤，那么后续对它的救治也主要是针对翅膀。它的翅膀治好了吗？它能再次飞翔吗？文章的结尾我们可以这样写：“Days later,Caroline received a short video from Mr Roberts, in which the bird was practicing its broken wings and singing song lively.”。这个结尾既交代了小鸟正在康复的结果，又呼应了前文的信息，使文章内容更加紧密、完整。

（四）点题式结尾

点题式结尾是指在续写文章结尾时用一两句话来总结文章的主旨，升华主题，起到画龙点睛的作用。

按照高考评价体系的要求，高考作文要体现正确的世界观、人生观和价值观，要弘扬真善美，传递正能量。那么，故事的结尾一定是美好的、积极向上的。这也就意味着小鸟最后一定被治好了，并被放归自然。因此，我们可以考虑这样写结尾：“Weeks later, while Caroline was sitting at the window, she heard a bird singing outside in the tree.Looking out,she immediately recognized that it was the bird she had saved.”。这样的结尾不仅可以给故事设定一个圆满的结局，其中的a bird singing outside 还和文章的标题相呼应，升华了主题。

（五）景物（环境）描写式结尾

景物（环境）描写式结尾是指在读后续写中以景作结，寓情于景，达到不言情而情无限的效果。我们在以景结情时要注意环境的描写与人物的心情相照应，融情于景。

结尾时我们也可以考虑通过对环境的描写来烘托这个温暖人心的主题。比如：“Bathed in the golden sunlight, Caroline felt relieved as the breeze gently kissed her face.”。其中，golden sunlight 和breeze 都能给人带来温暖的感觉，就像这个故事一样，温暖人心。

（六）哲理式结尾

哲理式结尾是对文章中心思想的总结，包含作者想要表达的寓意和想与读者分享的感悟。这种结尾方式往往是通过以小见大、从物到人、由事及理、从点到面、由一及众等方式升华文章主题。我们在续写结尾的时候，通常可以通过表现人生感悟、生活真谛、生活哲理、人生观或价值观来实现情感升华。

既然高考作文要体现正确的世界观、人生观和价值观，弘扬真善美，传递正能量，那么在人与自然的主题下，故事的最终结果一定是人与自然的和谐共处。因此，我们可以用一个哲理性的句子来结束全文：“Animals are our friends, and we should live in harmony with them.”。这样的结尾由事及理、以小见大，传达了正确的世界观和价值观，升华了主题。

（七）反思式结尾

反思式结尾是指作者通过一个心理活动的描写，凸显文章的主题，对全文起画龙点睛的作用。

如果用反思式结尾来结束这个故事，我们或许可以这样写：“Learning that the little bird was getting better and better in the Blackwell Bird Rescue Society, Caroline thought,‘What I have done is worthwhile.’”。这样的结尾不仅交代了小鸟的结局，而且主人公对事件的反思和总结（“我”所做的一切都是值得的）也给读者传递了正能量，凸显了文章的主题。

【参考范文】

Paragraph 1:

Caroline called Mr Roberts and hurriedly told him her tale.She told him about the boys and the bird.Mr Roberts was moved by Caroline's efforts.“That bird is fortunate that you came to its rescue.Don't worry.I will make a call to the bird rescue society.They canmake a pick-up for your feathered friend in the morning,”Mr Roberts assured Caroline confidently.Breathing a sigh of relief, Caroline looked at the bird, which was still peacefully sleeping in the box as if nothing had happened.She went to bed, hoping that it would survive the night.Paragraph 2:

In the morning, the Blackwell Bird Rescue Society called, informing a car would come to pick up the bird at10am.Hanging up the phone, Caroline smiled with relief.“I guess this is goodbye,”Caroline said to the bird in the shoe box.Curiously,it replied with a short chirp as if it understood what she was saying.As scheduled, a car from the Blackwell Bird Rescue Society pulled up to her house at 10 am.After examining it carefully, the driver packed the bird gently into the car, promising Caroline that they would get the little one back up and flying again.Days later, Caroline received a short video from Mr Roberts, in which the bird was practicing its broken wings and singing song lively.“You are welcome,”she smiled.

【模拟导练】

阅读下面材料，根据其内容和所给段落开头语续写两段，使之构成一篇完整的短文。

A meal with a smile

At eleven years old,my main concern was money.Where could I get it? What would I spend it on? How much did I need to buy the new must-have things my classmates either had or wanted just as badly as I did?I went to my mom.“Mom,I need more money,”I said,leaning against the kitchen counter while she cooked dinner.“What else can kids do for a job around here?”

“You think you need a job?”Mom asked with a smile.“You could just enjoy the summer like the other kids, you know?”“I'll still have time for that, but I want to work,”I shrugged.“Okay,let me ask around,”Mom finally agreed.

The next day, she had an answer.“Your grandmother will pay you to help her deliver lunch each day to the elderly.”I couldn't wait to start my new job on Monday after school was dismissed for the summer.When my grandmother picked me up, I thanked her for the job with questions.“It's simple.We pick up a large container full of hot meals in a nearby town and then we go on our delivery route,”she said.That was easy.

After our load was arranged in the backseat,my grandmother drove us to our first stop:a small house.I nearly jumped when I glanced over to see a tiny old woman in the corner looking at me.When I drew near to her, she smiled at me, revealing no teeth.The house smelled terrible and looked old like the antique stores my mom liked to visit.I held my breath until we went back out onto the porch.Was this really how some people lived? I couldn't wrap my head around it.

The next stop was much the same and the next.The houses varied in size and shape;some were nicer than others, but the same wrinkly people eagerly waited for their meals.Each person smiled at me and thanked me again and again as I hurried to get out of there.I was sweaty and tired.

注意：续写词数应为150左右。

Paragraph 1:

On our way back home,I sat in the backseat silently with the idea of giving up.______

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Paragraph 2:

Her words touched me deeply and I decided to continue the job.__________________

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【评价导思】

1.续写这篇文章时，你可以采用哪些方式结尾呢？

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2.你采用了哪种方式续写结尾？你的结尾是否能升华主题？

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3.在续写结尾时，你觉得最难的是什么？

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