忍者猫

任新超

Sammie was a stinker1. Our middle-agedorange tabby2 loved to play his own brand offeline3 practical jokes on us whenever theopportunity arose. And the opportunity seemed tobe arising more and more every day.

Whether Sammie was jumping from atop thestairs onto my head， grabbing4 my foot fromunderneath the sofa， or jumping on my back whenI bent down， he never failed to shock me. Themost terrifying5 move of all， though， was what myhusband Bill called “The Ninja”. Sammie wouldwait patiently around a corner or behind a pieceof furniture until one of us passed by. Then， hewould fly through the air and land on one of ourthighs， securing6 all four sets of claws into it.

One day， I heard a strange growl7 from ourbasement. Never imagining that it could becoming from our usually silent tabby， I walkeddown the stairs to find him sitting on a windowledge8， eye-to-eye with a neighborhood cat on theother side of the glass. The growling increased asthe other cat taunted Sammie with his presence9，moving this way and that. Yet， when Sammiehissed10 and smacked11 the window with his paw，the other cat ran for his life.

Ninja Cat， proud of his brave efforts， refusedto leave. He pressed against the window， craning12 his neck to the left and the right，searching for any sign of the other cats return. Even an hour later， Sammie stillheld guard at the basement window. Promise of dinner and the shaking of the treatsbag could not entice him back to the first floor. Then， I got an idea.

薩米是个讨厌鬼。只要有机会，我们的中年橙色虎斑猫就喜欢对我们施展它自己的猫科恶作剧。而这样的机会似乎每天都在增加。

无论萨米是从楼梯顶跳到我的头上，从沙发下面抓住我的脚，还是在我弯腰时跳到我背上，它总会让我大吃一惊。不过，最可怕的举动是我丈夫比尔所说的“忍者”。萨米会耐心地在拐角处或家具后面等待，直到我们中的一个人经过。然后，它会凌空飞起，落到我们的一条大腿上，用四只爪子牢牢攀住。

有一天，我听到地下室里传出奇怪的咆哮声。我从来没有想到声音会来自我们平时沉默的虎斑猫，于是我走下楼梯，发现它坐在窗台上，与玻璃另一边的一只邻居的猫对视着。当那只猫来回移动，用它的存在感“嘲弄”萨米时，咆哮声越来越大。然而，当萨米发出嘶嘶声并用爪子拍打窗户时，另一只猫逃命了。

忍者猫以自己的勇敢行为为荣，拒绝离开。它紧贴着窗户，伸长脖子左看右看，寻找另一只猫回来的迹象。即使一个小时后，萨米仍然在地下室的窗户前站岗。晚餐的承诺和晃动零食袋都无法诱使它回到一楼。然后，我有了一个主意。

In my bedroom， I have a toy lion. Sammie may have had the courage to face offwith a neighborhood cat， but a lion several times his size？ I didnt think so. Fromthere， I made a plan for Sammie to receive his comeuppance13 for all the ninjaattacks we had endured14 through the years.

I said to Bill as he watched the evening news and held up the toy lion，“Imgoing to play a trick on Sammie with this， and I need you to help me.”

With the memory of Sammies most recent ninja attacks still fresh in his mind，Bill responded eagerly，“Count me in. What do you need me to do？”

“Im going to sneak15 outside and move the lion around in front to the basementwindow. I need you to grab your cellphone and go downstairs and record Sammiesreaction on video. That，”I said，“Ive got to see.”

With that， Bill found a place in the basement as I went outside， next to thewindow， with the lion in my arms. Then， all of a sudden， I shook the lion in front ofSammies face. Ha ha！ Id done it！ Id finally given Sammie a dose16 of his ownmedicine. I ran into the house and straight into Bill

“Show me the video！ Show me the video！ ”I exclaimed.

“Youre going to be disappointed，”Bill replied.“I couldnt get very much.”

“I want to see it！ I want to see it！ ”I cried with all the enthusiasm17 of a fiveyear-old being handed a gift at Christmas.

So， Bill played the video.

He was right. There wasnt much to see.

“Play it again，”I instructed. I looked closer. All I could see was a two-secondvideo of a giant， puffed-up tabby tail flashing across the screen. The video may havebeen short， but it was enough. I had beaten Sammie at his own game， and I even hadproof18. Ahhh， sweet victory was mine！

在我的卧室里，我有一只玩具狮子。萨米可能有勇气与邻居家的一只猫对峙，但一只比它大几倍的狮子呢？我不认为它有这样的勇气。从那之后，我为萨米制定了一个计划，让它为我们多年来忍受的所有忍者攻击而受到惩罚。

比尔看晚间新闻时，我举起了那只毛绒狮子对他说：“我要用这个来骗萨米，我需要你的帮助。”

比尔对萨米最近的忍者袭击记忆犹新，他迫不及待地回答说：“算我一份。

你需要我做什么？”

“我要偷偷溜到外面，把狮子移到地下室的窗户前。我需要你拿着手机下楼，把萨米的反应录下来。”我说，“我一定要看看。”

接着，比尔在地下室找了个位置，同时，我抱着狮子去外面，到了窗户旁。

然后，我猛然在萨米面前摇了摇狮子。哈哈！我做到了！我终于给萨米开了一剂猛药。我跑进房子，直奔向比尔。

“给我看录像！给我看录像！”我喊道。

“你会失望的。”比尔回答说，“我没拍到太多。”

“我想看！我想看！”我喊叫起来，带着圣诞节时五岁孩子收到礼物时的那种热情。

于是，比尔播放了视频。

他是对的。没什么可看的。

“再放一遍。”我吩咐道。我仔细看了看。我所能看到的只是一段两秒的视频，视频中一条巨大的、膨大的虎斑尾巴在屏幕上一晃而过。视频可能很短，但已经足够了。我以其人之道，还治其人之身，击败了萨米，我甚至有证据。啊，甜蜜的勝利属于我！