概要写作要点确认和要点表达方法探究

浙江

从2016 年10 月开始高考英语浙江卷中出现了全新的写作题型——读后续写和概要写作。两种题型在不同考次不定期地交替使用。《普通高等学校招生全国统一考试英语科考试说明》（以下简称《考试说明》）中对概要写作的要求如下：提供一篇350 词以内的短文，要求考生基于该短文写出一篇60 词左右的内容概要。至今为止高考英语浙江卷分别在2018 年11 月和2019 年6 月的两次考试中考查了概要写作这一题型，但是从阅卷之后的反馈情况来看，这一题型考生得分不高的主要原因是其在概要写作的要点确认以及概要写作的要点表达这两方面存在较大的问题。下面，笔者将具体阐述解决这两个方面的问题的具体方法，以期达到抛砖引玉的效果。

一、概要写作要点确认的方法

概要写作的素材往往是说明文，而说明文每一段的中心大意的呈现形式往往不同于记叙文的最后升华、得出结论，通常是位于每段的不同的位置、采用不同的方法引出，可谓花样繁多。这既增加了说明文阅读的趣味性，同时也不可避免地增加了概要写作要点确认的难度，使广大考生无法快速、简捷地定位要点，因此其所表达出来的句子往往不能直奔主题，只是在旁枝末节上浪费笔墨，造成不必要的失分现象。

有鉴于此，笔者将结合不同概要写作的语段分析总结段落大意的方法，即引出写作要点的手法，“顺藤摸瓜”地确定每段的写作要点。

1.直白法

直白法是指以开门见山的方式表达段落主题，段落主题后面的其他内容具体回答了这个主题的内容是什么（what）、为什么形成这个主题（why）和怎么形成的这个主题（how），虽然具体内容不少，但是其在重要性上并不能与主题句相提并论。直白法的判断方法是段落首句是一句笼统抽象的表达，而后面的内容则是具体而精确的阐述，前后之间有明显的虚实变化。

【例】（2018 年11 月高考英语浙江卷概要写作第四段）Now,if time and money are making it impossible,then check out the online college fairs at CollegeWeekLive.It’s a chance to chat online with admissions officers,students,and college counselors（顾问）,and it won’t cost you a penny! You can register for its online college fair at collegeweeklive.com.While visiting an online college fair can’t take the place of an actual campus visit,it can be a very useful tool that along with all your other research will help you make an informed Decision about which colleges or universities you’d like to attend.

【分析】上面段落的首句笼统地提出了段落主题“如果时间和金钱不允许，那么在网上了解目标大学也不失为一个好主意。”紧接着后面的内容围绕在网上了解大学的好处（这样做的具体原因）展开，显然采取了直白法的方式表达主题。

【方法策略】对于采用直白法引出主题的篇章我们在确定主题时千万不要本末倒置，轻率地以为后面说明原因的内容占用的篇幅更大而过度强调，从而造成虽然写作内容很多但是没有扣住要点的错误。

2.反衬法

主题呈现的另一种方式为反衬法，即要表达正面的主题时，前面一般使用负面的引入，反过来说，如果要表达负面的主题，则在其前使用正面的引入，这种反向操作非常具有干扰性，无形中增加了考生确认主题的难度。

【例】（2019 年6 月高考英语浙江卷概要写作第一段）Parents everywhere praise their kids.Jenn Berman,author of The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy and Confident Kids,says,“We’ve gone to the opposite extreme of a few Decades ago when parents tended to be more strict.”By giving kids a lot of praise,parents think they’re building their children’s confidence,when,in fact,it may be just the opposite.Too much praise can backfire and,when given in a way that’s insincere,make kids afraid to try new things or take a risk for fear of not being able to stay on top where their parents’ praise has put them.

【分析】本段的主题无疑是“父母的过度表扬会给孩子们造成负面影响”，而前半部分的内容都是在介绍“父母倾向于给予孩子们表扬”和“父母的表扬能够增强孩子们的自信心”这两方面正面的信息，在确定主题时千万不能重点介绍表扬的益处而忽略表扬的弊端，正确的做法应该是使用让步状语从句将文章中提到的父母表扬孩子的好处作为铺垫，把重心放在后半句过度表扬给孩子造成的负面影响上，只有这样才能符合反衬法的写作手法，切合主题。

【方法策略】判断反衬法的方法也很简单，即要特别重视but,however,nevertheless,in fact,actually,as a matter of fact 等表示转折关系的连接词，以及though,although,while,no matter 等引导让步状语从句的连接词，因为这些连接词就是反衬法的风向标，指引我们确定这种反衬手法。

3.事例法

记叙文和说明文中都会有一些事例，但是记叙文中的事例往往比较完整，通过完整的事例来升华正能量的主题，也就是说事例是构成记叙文的主要部分。而说明文，同样也有事例，但是这些事例并非文章的主体部分，它们只是起到引出说明文中心大意的作用，也就是说是次要的部分。请看下面的语篇：

【例】（《考试说明》中样题的第二、三段）In the early 16th century,people thought that Dirt on the skin was a means to block out Disease,as medical opinion had it that washing off Dirt with hot water could open up the skin and let ills in.A particular Danger was thought to lie in public baths.By 1538,the French king had closed the bath houses in his kingdom.So Did the king of England in 1546.Thus began a long time when the rich and the poor in Europe lived with Dirt in a friendly way.HenryⅣ,King of France,was famously Dirty.Upon learning that a nobleman had taken a bath,the king ordered that,to avoid the attack of Disease,the nobleman should not go out.

Though the belief in the merit（好处）of Dirt was long-lived,dirt has no longer been regarded as a nice neighbor ever since the 18 century.Scientifically speaking,cleaning away Dirt is good to health.Clean water supply and hand washing are practical means of preventing Disease.Yet,it seems that standards of cleanliness have moved beyond science since World War Ⅱ.Advertisements repeatedly sell the idea:clothes need to be whiter than white,cloths ever softer,surfaces to shine.Has the hate for Dirt,however,gone too far?

【分析】综观上面有关人们对于灰尘的不同态度的两段内容，考生们在进行概要写作的时候很容易进入误区，将第一段的欧洲的具体情况作为重心展开论述，而实际上本篇的第一个要点要从宏观上概括十六世纪欧洲人认为灰尘可以预防疾病的观点，而第二个要点则是反过来说十八世纪的欧洲人改变了之前的观点。这两个要点都与具体的人物，如法国国王Henry Ⅳ无关。因此对于使用事例法引出主题的说明文，学生在确定主题时应忽略事例直奔论点。

【方法策略】判断事例法的方法主要是关注时态的变化，通常情况下说明文的前后两段都是一般现在时，而使用事例法的说明文则是前面的一段使用一般过去时，出现中心大意的一段则使用一般现在时，只有关注到这种时态上的变化特点才能判断前后两段孰轻孰重，进而确定概要写作的要点。

4.提问法

英语的行文结构与中文的行文结构的类似之处在于都会采取提问的方式来引出段落主旨，因此，笔者建议考生要重视段落中的一般疑问句或特殊疑问句，否则难以准确确定写作的要点。

【例】It’s a familiar but uncomfortable feeling.Your best friend will marry a handsome Doctor,and the congratulatory hug you offer lacks genuine warmth.Your friend is made the team for Saturday’s big game,and you take a certain pleasure in telling him you can’t be there to watch him play.You smile but a voice in your head asks,why them and not you?

Envy is a shortcoming of character we like to keep in our heart secretly.How shameful is it not to be looking forward with Delight to your Day as your best friend’s bridesmaid! Who would hope your friend might suffer some injury,so you can take his place on the team?

Envy is everywhere.It seems to be in our nature to hate others’gifts and good fortune,especially if we see them as advantages they shouldn’t have.

【分析】上面有关嫉妒的语段的内容比较抽象，因为涉及心理学方面的知识所以给广大考生确定要点徒增了不少的困难，但是如果我们紧紧把握疑问句之后往往是要点这一原则，确定“Envy is a shortcoming of character we like to keep in our heart secretly.” 和“Envy is everywhere.It seems to be in our nature to hate others’ gifts and good fortune,”这三句是相对重要的内容，那么考生便可轻松确定写作要点。

【方法策略】判断提问法的方法更加简单，那就是依据标点符号“？”进行判断：如果出现了特殊疑问句，我们要问自己其后面的内容是不是就是中心要点，很可能问号后面的笼统的回答就是作者要着重提出的观点。

二、概要写作要点表达的方法

确定好概要写作的要点并不能保证写作一定能够得到高分，因为下一步把确定后的要点用自己的语言高级、准确、精炼地表达出来同样也不是件容易的事情，在这个环节中，学生常见的问题是不知道遵循哪些写作的原则来表达写作要点，使概要写作的表达具有有效性和新颖性，下面笔者还是结合上面四段素材分别从变换词汇、变换句式、注意虚实和注意衔接四个方面来具体阐述概要写作的表达方法。每段素材中的画线部分即文章要点，而后面的要点表达都紧紧围绕着这些要点展开。

1.变换词汇

【例】（2019 年6 月高考英语浙江卷概要写作第一段）Parents everywhere praise their kids.Jenn Berman,author of The A to Z Guide to Raising Happy and Confident Kids,says,“We’ve gone to the opposite extreme of a few Decades ago when parents tended to be more strict.”By giving kids a lot of praise,parents think they’re building their children’s confidence,when,in fact,it may be just the opposite.Too much praise can backfire and,when given in a way that’s insincere,make kids afraid to try new things or take a risk for fear of not being able to stay on top where their parents’ praise has put them.

【要点确定】反衬法（根据表示转折关系的连接词in fact)

【分析】考虑到前面都在介绍表扬的好处，因此这部分内容要简单提到表扬的好处，但是不能作为主要内容来呈现，主要内容是in fact 后面的内容，即过度表扬的坏处，两者之间使用定语从句衔接，不用简单句和并列句。

【表达形式】Nowadays parents tend to overpraise their children,which may have bad effects on them.

【表达亮点】根据词汇变换原则把Too much praise 替换为overpraise。进行词汇变换的前提是要储备好足够的同义词，然后根据具体情况灵活切换。

2.变换句式

【例】It’s a familiar but uncomfortable feeling.Your best friend will marry a handsome Doctor,and the congratulatory hug you offer lacks genuine warmth.Your friend is made the team for Saturday’s big game,and you take a certain pleasure in telling him you can’t be there to watch him play.You smile but a voice in your head asks,why them and not you?

Envy is a shortcoming of character we like to keep in our heart secretly.How shameful it is not to be looking forward with Delight to your Day as your best friend’s bridesmaid! Who would hope your friend might suffer some injury,so you can take his place on the team?

Envy is everywhere.It seems to be in our nature to hate others’ gifts and good fortune,especially if we see them as advantages they shouldn’t have.

【要点确定】提问法（根据前面why 和Who 引导的特殊疑问句以及问号）

【分析】考虑到本文介绍的嫉妒这一心理现象的内容比较抽象，在进行要点表达时要突出主题，即围绕嫉妒的概念以及嫉妒的存在形式展开，其他旁枝末节可以忽略不计，千万不能胡子眉毛一把抓，造成主题不明。

【表达形式】Envy is a common but unpleasant feeling,which is a secret hidden in our heart.

【表达亮点】根据句型变换原则把简单句改成非限制性定语从句，在表达概要主题时尽量多用名词性从句、定语从句、状语从句和强调结构，但是不建议在概要写作这种说明类的文体中使用倒装句。

3.注意虚实

【例】（2018 年11 月高考英语浙江卷概要写作第四段）Now,if time and money are making it impossible,then check out the online college fairs at CollegeWeekLive.It’s a chance to chat online with admissions officers,students,and college counselors（顾问）,and it won’t cost you a penny! You can register for its online college fair at collegeweeklive.com.While visiting an online college fair can’t take the place of an actual campus visit,it can be a very useful tool that along with all your other research will help you make an informed Decision about which colleges or universities you’d like to attend.

【要点确定】直白法（根据前后两句的虚实情况)

【分析】表达要点时要把主要笔墨放在第一句，即虚写的一句，如果一定要兼顾后面的实写部分，也只能是一笔带过，不能过分浪费宝贵的笔墨。

【表达形式】Finally if you lack time and money,using online college fairs could be another option.

【表达亮点】原文中使用了祈使句，而概要写作要求避免重复，但是内容又必须与原文一致，所以使用动名词作主语这一表达方式便是个不错的选择。其次，option 这个单词是高级词汇，在这里出现也颇为应景。因此平时学生必须多积累高级句型和高级词汇，只有这样才能在关键时刻为写作增光添彩。

4.注意衔接

【例】（《考试说明》中样题的第二、三段）In the early 16th century,people thought that Dirt on the skin was a means to block out Disease,as medical opinion had it that washing off Dirt with hot water could open up the skin and let ills in.A particular Danger was thought to lie in public baths.By 1538,the French king had closed the bath houses in his kingdom.So Did the king of England in 1546.Thus began a long time when the rich and the poor in Europe lived with Dirt in a friendly way.Henry Ⅳ,King of France,was famously Dirty.Upon learning that a nobleman had taken a bath,the king ordered that,to avoid the attack of Disease,the nobleman should not go out.

Though the belief in the merit（好处）of Dirt was long-lived,dirt has no longer been regarded as a nice neighbor ever since the 18 century.Scientifically speaking,cleaning away Dirt is good to health.Clean water supply and hand washing are practical means of preventing Disease.Yet,it seems that standards of cleanliness have moved beyond science since World War Ⅱ.Advertisements repeatedly sell the idea:clothes need to be whiter than white,cloths ever softer,surfaces to shine.Has the hate for Dirt,however,gone too far?

【要点确定】事例法（根据前后两段时态不同，第一段中多数句子为一般过去时，而第二段中大部分句子是一般现在时）

【分析】两个要点之间如果不使用表达相互关系的连接词也未尝不可，但是如果使用了合适的连接词则会使文章的逻辑性更强，所以however,in addition,as a result(consequence),to sum up 等表示各种不同关系的连接词还是要适时地出现在概要写作的要点表达中的。

【表达形式】For a long time in history,people of some European countries,such as France,believed that Dirt protected people from getting ill.（要点1）However,people began to change their attitudes to Dirt about 200 years ago.（要点2）

【表达亮点】前后两个要点明显存在着转折关系，因此使用However 这个连接词来衔接这两个要点非常合适。建议考生在复习备考时归纳表示不同关系的连接词，分门别类地记忆，做到能够在概要写作中运用自如。

应对概要写作这一高考新题型，宏观确定要点和微观进行表达这两个方面缺一不可，宏观确定要点，即把握语篇的主要内容，抛弃旁枝末节，抓住主要信息进行转化，而微观表达则是从语言的高级性、准确性和内容的流畅性入手，力争使文章与众不同。只有考生持有艺术性的态度、从两方面着手才能稳步提高概要写作的写作能力，从而在高考中写出惊艳的高分作文。