Cultural Wedding Gift Traditions

By Dana Holmes

One of the occasions where you don’t want to get someone’s cultural traditions wrong is their wedding day.So, what do you get the happy couple for their Jewish, Hindu, Buddhist,Catholic, or Muslim wedding? Of course, it’s always fine to get something off of the happy couple’s registry1registry 礼品愿望清单。列礼品愿望清单是西方婚礼独有的做法，新郎新娘在结婚之前想清楚婚后家里需要添置的东西，选择某一个（或几个）商场，登记好自己的愿望清单，送礼人可到网站上查询新人列出的礼品愿望清单来选礼物，还可以通过清单来查看某些物品是否已经被其他婚礼嘉宾购买。. If they registered for it, all rules go out the window. But, if you want to go the traditional route and know that the couple is religious, I’ve put together a list of some customs, dos, and don’ts for the major traditions out there.

Jewish

[2] There are three major denominations in Judaism: Orthodox, Conservative,and Reform, and numerous small denominations, as well, but lucky for you, most Jewish wedding traditions are consistent among the denominations. One gift that’s common at a Jewish wedding is money, but not just any money—money in multiples of the number 18, which is the numerical equivalent to the Hebrew word chai (pronounced “hai” with the “h”as a sort of gurgle2gurgle咯咯地发出（声响）。in the back of your throat). Chai means “life” in English.Depending on your relationship to the couple at hand, you might want to give$144, which is eight times chai, or 11 times chai, which is $198, or any other variation you feel comfortable with.If you’re not feeling a monetary gift,try a mezuzah3mezuzah（犹太教）门柱圣卷。. Mezuzahs are pieces of parchment containing a verse from the Torah4《旧约》前五卷。that are created by qualified scribes5scribe（印刷术发明之前的）抄书吏；能写一笔好字的人。and often put in decorative cases for display in doorways. Some believe that every door in the home must have one, so you don’t have to feel bad if the couple gets several. You may even want to get the case engraved with the couple’s initials. A few more ideas are Shabbat6（犹太教）安息日。candlesticks (Shabbat candles are lit on Friday evenings to usher in the Jewish day of rest), a Seder plate to use for Passover7（圣经）逾越节。, and a set of kosher8kosher按犹太教食规清洁可食的食品。cookbooks for their new home.

没有人希望在别人结婚时搞错他们的文化习俗。那么，去参加一场宗教婚礼时，比如犹太教、印度教、佛教、天主教或者伊斯兰教婚礼，什么可以作为贺礼送给那对甜蜜的新人呢？当然，从婚礼礼物订购清单里选送贺礼总是不错的选择。如果新人登记了礼品愿望清单，那么一切规矩统统不重要了。但是，如果送礼时希望遵循传统并确知新人信教，那么以下关于一些主要宗教婚礼传统的风俗习惯和注意事项或可参考。

犹太教婚礼

[2]犹太教主要分为三大派系：正统派、保守派和改革派，此外还有众多小派别，不过幸运的是，虽然派系不同，但大部分犹太婚礼的传统都大同小异。参加犹太教婚礼最常送的就是礼金，但金额很有讲究，通常是18的倍数。18在希伯来语中拼写为chai（发音为hai，其中h是在喉咙后部发出类似咯咯的声音），在英语中是“生命”的意思。人们可以根据自己与新人的亲疏远近来决定是送144美元（chai的8倍）还是送198美元（chai的11倍），或者任何其他自己认为合适的数目。如果你不喜欢送礼金，那么可以选择门柱圣卷。门柱圣卷由羊皮纸制成，经由资深的抄经人将《旧约》前五卷经文节选誊抄其上后，放在装饰精美的盒子里，置于门廊处。有人认为家里的每道门都得装门柱圣卷，所以即使这对新人已经收了很多个，你也无须为此而感到难堪。你可以选择在盒子上刻上他们名字首字母的缩写。此外，还可以为他们的新家送上安息日蜡烛台（犹太教信徒会在星期五晚上点安息日蜡烛，表示即将进入犹太教的休息日）、逾越节用的逾越节餐盘以及洁食烹饪书。

Hindu

[3] Money is also a common gift ata Hindu wedding, and as with a Jewish wedding, there is a particular number theme in Hindu culture. Numbers ending in one are considered lucky,so it is best to give money in these denominations; for example, a gift of$101, $151 or $201. If you’d prefer to give something other than money,a great traditional gift is a small gold or silver religious statue. A statue of Hindu God Ganesha9迦内什，梵名毗那也迦，也称“象鼻天”“障碍神”，印度神话中的智慧、财富之神。印度很多商铺都供奉迦内什。, the lord of beginnings is a good idea, as is a statue of Lakshmi10拉克西米，毗湿奴神的正妻，是一位强有力的女神，掌管丰收和家庭。, the Goddess of prosperity,fortune and fertility. You might even try pairing the two statues together for the ultimate wedding gift. At a Hindu wedding, perhaps even more important than what you should get is what you shouldn’t get. Never give a gift made of leather! Hindus believe the skin of a dead animal, particularly a cow, to be sacrilegious11sacrilegious亵渎的。.

Buddhist

[4] Giving money in denominations ending in one is also a Buddhist tradition for the same reason as in Hindu culture, and monetary gifts are believed to carry good luck. If you can find a traditional red envelope with gold and black lettering to tuck the money inside, even better. A statue is also a thoughtful gift for a Buddhist couple. A statue of Goddess Laxmi, the Goddess of prosperity would be well received.And you can never go wrong with the traditional Maitreya Buddha, who brings luck, or the Kwan Yin statue,which inspires compassion and peace in the home. One last idea for your Buddhist newlywed friends is a leatherbound Buddhist bible, perfect for their new beginning together.

印度教婚礼

[3]奉送礼金在印度教婚礼上也十分常见。跟犹太教婚礼一样，印度教文化中也有特定的数字概念。印度教教徒将以1结尾的数字视为幸运数字，如101美元、151美元或者201美元等，所以奉送的礼金最好符合这条规矩。如果你更青睐其他方式，那么一尊金质或银质神像将是一份不错的传统礼物。印度教象鼻神迦内什的雕像或者象征丰收、财富和生育的拉克西米女神的雕像都是上佳选择。你甚至可以尝试把这两个神的雕像组成一对，那将是给新人的最好礼物。在印度教婚礼上，更需要关注的不是应该送什么，而是不应该送什么。需要谨记的是，千万不要送皮革礼物！印度教教徒认为死去的动物的皮，尤其是牛的皮，是对神明的严重亵渎。

佛教婚礼

[4]出于和印度教同样的原因，佛教也有以1结尾的数字作为礼金数额的传统，而且佛教徒们往往认为礼金能够给新人们带来好运。如果你能找到印有金字和黑字的传统红包来装礼金，就更好了。对佛教徒夫妻而言，神像也不失为体贴的礼物。丰饶女神拉克西米的雕像必定大受欢迎，而选择象征幸运的弥勒佛像或者象征慈悲与和气的观音像也一定不会错。还有一样适合送给佛教徒新婚夫妇的礼物，那就是皮革包边的佛经，以此来祝福他们共同的新开始再好不过了。

Catholic

[5] For especially devout Catholics in particular, but for all Catholics,religious-based wedding gifts are quite popular. A crucifix is a great universal wedding gift. Crucifixes come in many different styles, so you can use this to your advantage and choose something reminiscent of the lucky couple. Or,made specifically for weddings are gold and silver crucifixes with two wedding bands on the front. It’d be hard to go wrong with that! A Bible is always an appropriate gift for a Catholic wedding,as well; you can even get a Bible inscribed with the couple’s names or initials and their wedding date, making it that much more special. Another great idea is a nativity set, which is a central element of Catholic Christmas décor,or a statue of Mary and rose plants so the new couple can plant both in their garden. If you aren’t yourself religious,it might feel weird to give a crucifix.In that case, a softer purchase of angel candle holders or etched12etched蚀刻的，凿出花纹的。vases are a great option.

天主教婚礼

[5] 对于所有天主教教徒而言，有宗教意义的结婚礼物备受欢迎，对那些格外虔诚的教徒更是如此。耶稣受难十字架是十分常见的结婚好礼。这样的十字架样式繁多，因此，可以充分利用这一点好好挑选一款对这对幸运夫妇有纪念意义的十字架。或者也可以选择镶有对戒的特制的金十字架和银十字架。这样的礼物绝对不会出问题！《圣经》永远是参加天主教婚礼的送礼上选；甚至可以送上一本题有这对夫妻名字或名字首字母缩写以及婚礼日期的《圣经》，这会显得十分特别。另一个不错的选择是一套“耶稣降生”装饰，这是天主教圣诞节的主要元素。又或者是圣母马利亚的雕像和玫瑰插枝，新婚夫妇可以把玫瑰种在自己的花园里，再用雕像来装点。如果你本人不信教，送别人十字架可能会有些奇怪，大可轻松选购一些天使烛台或者雕纹花瓶。

Muslim

[6] With a Muslim wedding, what not to get as a wedding gift is almost,if not more, important than what to get. Mainly, do not get gifts of alcohol or anything to do with alcohol; this includes champagne glasses, wine glass sets and 60-year-old aged whiskey as lovely as it might seem. Those following the Islamic religion refrain from drinking alcohol. A wedding gift“do,” however, that should be at the top of your list is Islamic artwork. This makes a great gift because it helps to tell the story of their religion. Another popular idea for an Islamic wedding gift is a customized name canvas of Islamic calligraphy. These are personalized with the names of the bride and groom,and meant to last a lifetime, like their marriage.

[7] Next time you get invited to a wedding of someone with a different cultural background than your own,hopefully this guide can be of assistance.Otherwise, start your research! Again,this is not the kind of thing you want to get wrong. Happy gifting! ■

穆斯林婚礼

[6]参加穆斯林的婚礼，结婚礼物的忌讳更值得我们关注，其重要性绝不亚于要送什么。大体上而言，酒水或者跟酒有关的任何东西都不能作为礼物，其中包括香槟杯、酒杯套装以及60年的威士忌等，尽管60年的威士忌看起来或许很棒，这是因为信奉伊斯兰教的人禁酒。至于可送的结婚礼物，首选伊斯兰教的艺术品。这些艺术品之所以成为送礼佳选是因为它们能彰显这对夫妻的宗教信仰。另一件流行的礼物便是定制的伊斯兰书法帆布条幅，上面署上新郎、新娘的名字，象征两人的婚姻长长久久。

[7]希望下次受邀参加文化背景不同的亲友的婚礼时，这些建议能对大家有所帮助。或者，自己好好做做功课！再次强调，这种事你一定不想出岔子。祝你礼物挑得开心！ □