《浮生六记》英译阅读与讨论 (四)

2020-08-28 11:33刘士聪
英语世界 2020年8期
关键词:译作浮生六记译法

刘士聪

译例1:

【背景】是年七夕,芸设香烛瓜果,同拜天孙于我取轩中。

【原文】是夜,月色颇佳,俯视河中,波光如练,轻罗小扇,并坐水窗,仰见飞云过天,变态万状。(第一卷)

【译文】Brilliant moonlight had silvered the quiet garden as I watched the shining satin ripples of the stream. The night was very hot. We were sitting before the water window, dressed in light silk gowns, fanning ourselves languidly with little gauze fans, looking first at the water below us, then at the ever-changing shapes of the scudding clouds in the skies overhead. (p. 17)

【简评】译者布莱克不是逐字逐句译,她的译文里常见编辑和创作痕迹。叙述顺序时有变化,根据上下文或因英语行文需要,偶尔有补充文字。这种处理,从译文读者角度看,有必要。

“……俯视河中,波光如练”,译作“...as I watched the shining satin ripples of the stream”,河面如光亮的绸缎在飘动,将“如练”译成动态景象,一个非常好的译句。

译例2:

【背景】七月望,俗谓之鬼节,芸备小酌,拟邀月畅饮。夜忽阴云如晦,芸愀然曰:“妾能与君白头偕老,月轮当出。”

【原文】余亦索然。但见隔岸萤光,明灭万点,梳织于柳堤蓼渚间。(第一卷)

【译文】  I, too, felt depressed and apprehensive, looking across the water to the darkness of the opposite shore, where will-o-the-wisps, shining in the blackness like thousands of tiny, bright lanterns, wove in and out among the tangled willows. (p. 21)

【簡评】这段原文运用诗一般的语言创造了诗一般的意境。仔细阅读译文,也同样具有诗一般的气质,简单的用词,自然的搭配,紧凑的衔接,漂亮的组织。译者运用英语创造了一个神秘莫测的夜景,也让我们认识到,英语和汉语一样,具有神奇的表现力。

“……隔岸萤光,明灭万点”,译作“where will-o-the-wisps, shining in the blackness like thousands of tiny, bright lanterns”,“梳织于柳堤蓼渚间”,译作“wove in and out among the tangled willows”。整个句子编织严密,如英国作家毛姆(W. Somerset Maugham)所说,看着好看, 读着好听(good to look at and good to listen to)。

另外,这里将“萤光”译作“will-o-the-wisps”(鬼火),也许因为是鬼节,“夜忽阴云如晦,芸愀然”,“余亦索然”,为了结合上下文创造一种神秘气氛,译者可能有意这样译。

译例3:

【原文】余与芸联句以遣闷怀,而两韵之后,逾联逾纵,想入非夷,随口乱道。(第一卷)

【译文】 To dispel our fears and depression we began composing poetry, one of us starting a verse, the other finishing it; each composing a couplet in turn. Rhyming back and forth, we began to let our imagination run wild; indulging our most foolish fancies until we found ourselves laughing hysterically at the most ridiculous nonsense verses. (p. 21)

【简评】译者将“闷怀”译作our fears and depression,不是看字面译,而是依据上下文的实际情况,这个译法好。“逾联逾纵,想入非夷,随口乱道”,其中的“纵”(let our imagination run wild)、“非夷”(indulging our most foolish fancies)和“乱道”(the most ridiculous nonsense verses)都斟酌得很好,意思表达得很充分。

译例4:

【背景】过石桥,进门折东,曲径而入。叠石成山,林木葱翠,亭在土山之巅。

【原文】循级至亭心,周望极目可数里,炊烟四起,晚霞灿然。(第一卷)

【译文】 From this elevation, as far as the eye could see, the land fell away to the horizon in every direction. Smoke was rising from the cooking fires of the houses far below, curling upward against a background of brilliantly-coloured sunset clouds. (p. 23)

【简评】这几个短句处理得好,是译,也是创作。译者没有拘泥原文形式,而是想象了乡村傍晚的景象,用英语描画了一幅生动、漂亮的田园风景。

译者为译好《浮生六记》,遵循自己提出的三条努力方向,在运用今日英语表达汉语文言文方面下了功夫。其译文不追求字面上和句式上的忠实,而尽量在语义深层和审美层面上与原文保持一致。在布莱克看来,这似乎更为重要,在我们读来,也感觉这种译法的审美效果是好的。

当然,其他的文学作品未必都可以采取这种译法,别的译家也未必都赞成这样译。但她在翻译中所遵循的几条原则,她所探索的翻译途径,对文学作品的英译有启发,有参考价值。

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