I’m Young and Employed 我的坎坷求职路

Gainful employment is frankly pretty excellent， I have learned. When applied correctly， it affords a person neat1） things such as a place to sleep and store your belongings， and meals on a daily basis. When it is especially gainful， as it has been for me， it also affords nice luxuries such as driving a car， purchasing provocatively2） named micro-beers， and occasionally travelling on an airplane.

It frees a person from scary things such as insurmountable3） debt and perpetual4） homelessness. Recently， it has come to the attention of the public that for young people in Canada its a scarce commodity.

I am a young person and I have been unemployed.

Its frankly pretty awful. In the beginning it was just the sweet new fall jacket I couldnt afford， or the Saturday-night trips to the pricier brewpub5） that I had to balk6） at in favour of retail-priced beer procured at the LCBO7）.

Then， as the weeks and months went on， I evolved into that boring friend who couldnt afford subway trips outside my neighbourhood. Slowly but surely， takeout pizza became an unimaginable luxury. I grew truly and righteously outraged at the price of diced tomatoes in a can.

What could I do？ I went to university and got a degree. After university I went to college and got a diploma. Then I e-mailed my résumé to every company， non-profit and government institution with an online careers page.

My parents said “Hit the bricks8），” so I printed my résumé on paper and handed it to people in brick-and-mortar9） buildings.

My aunts and uncles said “Its all about who you know，” so I called， texted and e-mailed everyone Id ever met who collects a paycheque.

I posted on Facebook asking “does anybody have a lead on a job？” Three people helpfully suggested I apply at the nearby hardware store. I was a bright， self-motivated and detail-oriented young person， but it was and is a tough economy.

One summer during university， my cousin and I helped my uncles business reshingle10） my grandmothers roof. My cousin thrived11） while I ruined my back for what will probably be the next decade.

That same year， I was thrilled to be brought on board12） with a company that provided supplies to plumbing13） contractors in the Ottawa area. My job was to assemble the parts needed for each order so that the shipping manager could package them for delivery.

I was terrible at it. My slim， 100-pound frame was no match for massive ceramic14） toilets sitting precariously15） atop 20-foot warehouse shelves. I piloted a delivery van into another province by mistake. My four-day tenure ended with the parting comfort that I was “probably too smart for this job anyway.”

Ive been underemployed， or perhaps inaccurately employed： It isnt wonderful.

A lot of opinionated people have recently discussed and debated the notion that the predicament16） of unemployment in my generation is our fault. Some accuse us of being lazy or feeling too entitled.

Young people arent lazy and theyre not complacent. Some of my friends say that the fault lies with the baby boomers， who are clinging onto all the good jobs and wont let go until theyve squeezed every penny into bloated retirement packages featuring quadrennial17） yacht upgrades. But I think most of us are more realistic.

At the same time， those who claim my generation is to blame for its high rate of joblessness sometimes accuse us of having a sense of “specialness” that has led us to believe we can all be astronauts， television writers or unicorn wranglers18） if we put our minds to it19）.

A few of them will argue that we would all be happily employed if we would only learn trades or become mechanical or software engineers， because those people are cleaning up20）.

I think most of us realize that not everyone can go to Mars， write jokes for Family Guy21） or raise premium unicorn meat. I also think not everyone can make a good electrician or design advanced computer software. I know I cant.

Everyone is good at something， but no one is good at everything. It took me hundreds of e-mails reading： “Thank you for your interest， but the position has been filled，” to realize that I had to stop blanketing22） the entire job market with a one-size-fits-all23） résumé and focus on finding a job where I could actually be successful.

Interestingly， or perhaps ironically， I found it in writing professional résumés for a company that helps people find the types of jobs in which I performed so dismally.

I am a young person and Ive been employed gainfully.

All it took was several years of excruciating desperation， miserable failure and an honest assessment of my personal value in the cold and unforgiving job market.

Im still pretty far back on the waiting list for the mission to Mars， and I have yet to wrangle even one unicorn， but its not bad for a start.

坦率地说，有一份有报酬的工作是件极好的事情，我对这一点颇有体会。当工作申请对了，它能让人有能力为一些好东西买单，诸如可以睡觉和储存财物的栖身之所以及一日三餐等。当工作的报酬尤为丰厚时，就像我的工作那样，它还能让人负担得起不错的奢侈项目，诸如开车、购买那些名字颇具诱惑力的微酿啤酒以及偶尔坐飞机旅行等。

有了工作，人就不必担心那些可怕的事情，比如欠下难以偿还的债务和颠沛流离的日子永无尽头。近来，公众注意到，对于加拿大的年轻人而言，这可是一件紧俏的商品。

我是个年轻人，而且我有过失业的经历。

说句实话，失业的感觉糟透了。一开始，我只是买不起那件好看的秋季新款夹克，或是在周六晚上放弃前往更为昂贵的自酿酒吧，转而在安省酒管局的酒类零售店购买零售价格的啤酒。

接着，几个星期、几个月过去了，我沦落成一个买不起地铁票、只能在家附近晃荡的无聊朋友。当然，叫比萨外卖也逐渐成为一种难以想象的奢侈。我还真的对西红柿丁罐头的价格变得义愤填膺。

我能做什么呢？我上了大学，拿了学位。大学毕业后，我还去学院进修并且拿了毕业文凭。接着，我将我的简历通过电子邮件发送给所有有招聘网页的公司、非营利性组织和政府机构。

我父母说“走出去”，于是我把简历打印出来，递给那些大厦里的人们。

我的叔叔婶婶们说“一切得看你认识谁”，于是我给自己曾谋面的所有领薪水的人打电话、发短信和写电邮。

我在Facebook上发帖子询问：“有人有工作方面的消息吗？”有三个人好心地建议我到附近的五金店试试。我是个聪明、上进、注重细节的年轻人，但是经济环境太糟糕了，过去是这样，现在仍然是这样。

我上大学时的一个夏天，我和堂兄一起帮叔叔的公司翻修奶奶的屋顶。我堂兄成功胜任，而我却把背给弄伤了，可能十年之内都好不了了。

同一年，我被一家公司录用，这令我感到非常兴奋，那家公司给渥太华地区的水暖设备承包商供货。我的工作是组装每个订单所需的零件，这样货运经理就可以将它们打包发货。

我干得糟透了。我100磅重的单薄小身板难以应付巨大的陶瓷马桶，它们颤悠悠地立在20英尺高的仓库货架上。我将一辆送货车错误地指派到了另一个省。四天的任期以一句离别的安慰而告终，你“可能太聪明了，做不来这个工作”。

我一直未能充分就业，或者说做的都是不适合自己的工作：这不是件好事。

许多自以为是的人近来一直在讨论和争辩这一观点：我们这一代人的失业困境是由我们自己造成的。一些人指责我们懒惰或者自以为有很多选择的权利。

年轻人既不懒惰也不自满。我有些朋友说，问题出在那些婴儿潮时出生的人们身上，他们把持着所有的好工作，直到自己挣到的退休金丰厚到可以每四年就换一个新游艇才肯罢休。但我认为，我们大多数人的想法要更为现实。

与此同时，有些人认定我们这一代人该为高失业率负责，他们有时会指责我们总感觉自己很特别。这种感觉使得我们相信，只要我们下定决心，我们就能成为宇航员、电视编剧或者独角兽牧人。

他们当中还有一些人认为，如果我们只学贸易或者成为机械或软件工程师，我们就都能开心地找到工作，因为这些行当都在挣大钱。

我觉得，我这一代的大多数人都知道，并不是所有人都能上火星，给喜剧《恶搞之家》写笑话，或者培育出优质的独角兽肉。我也认为，并不是所有人都能成为优秀的电气技师或设计出先进的电脑软件。我知道我就不能。

每个人都有自己擅长的东西，但是没有人擅长所有的东西。“谢谢您的关注，但该职位已招满了”——我阅读了成百上千封这样的电子邮件回信之后才意识到，我不能再用一份通用简历来应对整个人才市场了，我必须集中精力找一份我确实能够取得成功的工作。

有趣的是，或许应该说具有讽刺意味的是，我找到了一份工作，给一个公司写专业的简历，帮助人们找到那些我曾经干得很糟糕的工作。

我是个年轻人，而且我有了一份有报酬的工作。

我做到这一步，既经历了好几年的痛苦绝望与悲惨的失败，也学会了在这个冷酷无情的人才市场里诚实地估量自己所具有的个人价值。

我在登上火星任务的超长候选人名单中仍处于十分靠后的位置，我也尚未放牧哪怕一只独角兽，但这是一个不差的起点。

1. neat [ni?t] adj. 〈美俗〉极好的；呱呱叫的

2. provocatively [pr??v?k?t?vli] adv. 煽动地，挑逗地

3. insurmountable [??ns??ma?nt?bl] adj. 难以克服的，难以处理的

4. perpetual [p??pet?u?l] adj. 〈口〉无休止的，连续不断的

5. brewpub [?bru??p?b] n. 〈美〉自酿啤酒的啤酒吧

6. balk [b??k] vi. 回避，拒绝接受

7. LCBO：加拿大安大略省酒类控制局（Liquor Control Board of Ontario，简称“安省酒管局”），该机构对安大略省酒类实行垄断经营。

8. hit the bricks：出发，走到大街上

9. brick-and-mortar：实体的，具体的

10. reshingle [?ri?????ɡl] vt. 重新用木瓦盖……的屋顶

11. thrive [θra?v] vi. 成功；可以出色地应对

12. bring ... on board：使加入，使聘用

13. plumbing [?pl?m??] n. （建筑物的）水管装置，水暖设备

14. ceramic [s??r?m?k] adj. 陶瓷的

15. precariously [pr??ke?ri?sli] adv. 不牢靠地，不稳地，危险地

16. predicament [pr??d?k?m?nt] n. 尴尬的处境，困境；危境

17. quadrennial [?kw?dr?ni?l] adj. 四年一次的

18. unicorn wrangler：独角兽牧人

19. put ones mind to sth.：下定决心做某事

20. clean up：〈口〉赚钱，发大财

21. Family Guy：《恶搞之家》，美国福克斯电视公司自1999年起开始播映的一部无厘头风格的家庭喜剧卡通片

22. blanket [?bl??k?t] vt. （规则、价格等）通用于，普遍适用于

23. one-size-fits-all：（政策或方式）标准的，不为个体量身定做的